Dear Maggie,
Today marks three months since you had to leave us. I cannot believe it’s been three months. A lot has happened in that time: your dad started (and is nearly finished) with his third term in PA school, I’m three months into my new job (which I love), we went to Nashville for the 4th of July, I missed my 20th high school reunion (gasp) and I went to San Francisco with my mom and dad because my dad needed brain surgery.
Anyway, a few days after you passed, I planted some forget-me-not seeds that Indy’s mom gave me in your memory. The finally bloomed two weekends ago and they are more beautiful than I anticipated. Incidentally, it was the same weekend when I finally got that tattoo of you and me. I have a handful of tattoos but this is, hands down, the most meaningful one and truth be told I got a little weepy when it was happening. When I look down at it and I see you looking at me it feels like I have part of you back. Sometimes I cry when I look at it. Sometimes I smile. All the time, though, I love it.
I still cry, sometimes every day, a little bit when I think of you. I talk to my counselor and she reminded me that the relationship you and I had was significant and it’s normal for me to feel lost and sad. We did have a significant relationship. You made me who I am. You made me more responsible, more successful and more optimistic. Every night when I go to bed, I think of you and I’m so grateful to have known you and I’m still so fucking sad you’re gone. I’ve accepted it but that doesn’t make it any easier.
So I have some news to share with you, my girl. We’ve decided to get another dog. She won’t replace you, no dog ever could, but she will be your sister. We (well maybe I) decided to get another Great Dane. I told everyone that I’d never get another one because you were the best and I didn’t want to replace you… but I realized I love Great Danes. You had such a sweet disposition and loved being a part of our family. You had a personality that was as big as you were tall. Anyway, she’s coming in February. I’m looking forward to meeting her and I think your dad is too. While she won’t be you, she’ll have similar idiosyncrasies that make Great Danes so lovable. You’ll always be my number one, my best girl.
Lastly, thanks for being in my dreams so often these days. In all the dreams you’ve had four legs so I’m pretty sure you got that limb back when we let you go. That makes me happy… although… you were the cutest three-legged-dog ever.
So long my friend. You were simply the best. Thanks for loving me and your dad with all your heart. I’ll see you on the other side.
Love always and forever,
Your mom
Maggie and me 