It was a long night

Merry Christmas friends. I hope everyone had a great holiday. Yesterday and last night were pretty rough for both me and Maggie. I think that her Fentanyl patch is wearing off causing her more discomfort. While the instructions strictly forbid stairs we have three stairs that lead up to our apartment so she’s had to navigate them causing what seems like pain every now and then because she cries loudly. It’s the worst sound in the world. It makes me feel so awful for her. Like what the hell did I do to my dog? Good news is we move tomorrow to a new place with no stairs – I think I mentioned this in a previous post. That will make things much easier for her (and me). 

Last night Maggie barely slept a wink. She normally sleeps in her bed which is in the living room but she came hopping last night in the middle of the night which is rare. She only does that when she doesn’t feel good. I laid a blanket down on my side of the bed so she could sleep next to me. She laid down. Got up. Laid down. Got up. Laid down. Got up. Over and over. She couldn’t lay for more than five to 10 minutes. Finally, I brought my pillow down on the ground, held her and she slept for a few hours. 

This morning she was uncomfortable and so tired. You can tell by how she’s walking. This dog is exhausted. I called the vet and asked what I can do. Can I give her CBD oil? Something to help her sleep and help her pain? They said I couldn’t give her CBD oil right now because it will interact with her Gabapentin and Carprofen. The way CBD breaks down in the liver is the same way both Gabapentin and Carprofen do and so what happens is those drugs aren’t broken down and can lead to accidental overdose. Great. They did say I could increase the Gabapentin to three times a day so that’s what we’ve done. She finally took a nap. She got up for a little bit and I sat next to her. She put her head in my lap and fell asleep again. 

I’ve been doing some reading about front leg amputation recovery for dogs and what to expect. Turns out everything that is happening is normal, in particular, how I’m feeling. This article does a great job explaining what to expect. This article talks about how people deal with their dog’s amputation, “Accept that there will likely be challenges over the next few days that may make you sad, or even regret that you went through with the surgery. That’s normal. Don’t beat yourself up, remember to be strong, and know that the recovery time is just temporary.” This definitely lifted my spirits a bit because I know I’ve been pretty challenging to be around. I’m projecting human emotions onto Maggie and thinking she’s depressed or upset. In reality, she’s uncomfortable and is on heavy drugs. This recovery time is only temporary and will make her more comfortable in the long run. I need to remind myself of this. Right now, I feel like I’ve done something cruel and selfish but I know logically that’s not the case, however, emotionally that’s how I feel and I can’t figure out how to stop it other than researching and knowing what she’s doing and how I’m feeling is completely normal. 

I’m ready for this two weeks to be done. It’s only been four days and it can’t come quick enough.